Dr. MeowWoof

Cat: "No need to feel embarrassed. If you are afraid of us knowing who you are, then anonymous handles are fine. I assure you we won't know who you are unless you tell us."

Check back for updates and remedies according to CatDog. CatDog knows what it's like to feel down, to have a problem at school or work or with loved ones, so go ahead sit back on the couch relax and tell Dr. MeowWoof all about it.

Important disclaimer: CatDog is not a real doctor or professional by any means, they are just two kind souls that want to help out their friends. They want you to know that if you have a very severe problem, that requires professional help to please seek the help you need. Don't wonder whether you should talk to someone just do it! Your parents, siblings, relatives, teachers, friends, care about you and will help you if you need it. So please by all means talk with us but remember to take advantage of your loved ones around you and don't be afraid to confide in someone that cares.

comments = I'm glad you like me!!!!!!!! I'M READY, I'M READY, I'M
READY, I'M READY, I'M READY!!!!!!!!!!!

Dog: Don't forget you are in charge of the beverages this New Years party. Just bring more than water k Bob?

comments = Help me Dr MeowWoof...How can I wake up so I can see my
Saturday Morning Cartoons?

Cat: Best way to wake up in time, is to get an alarm clock. Get plenty of rest the night before too. Or you could set your VCR to tape your favorites by using the programming menu.

Cat: It's not too confusing. It just takes a little patience and following the instructions on your VCR menu. The date, the time you want to record and stop recording, the channel, and tape speed of video you prefer. Make sure your VCR clock is set to as close to the correct time and date as possible that way your programming timers don't get screwed up.

Dog: Waking up is more fun. Enjoying that tasty bowl of cereal while your body rejuvenates for the day watching your favorite shows.

Cat: Agreed Dog! Waking up for the day feeling that fresh sun is a grand experience. So get an alarm clock, but also get plenty of rest the night before. If you're a late person on the weekends because of going out Friday or staying up late because you don't have school or work, well consider the recording then. Getting enough sleep is important. So unless you can take a nice catnap in the afternoon, get your well-needed zzzzz's.

comments = Help me Dr MeowWoof...My neighbor is helding me hostage,
what should I do? Please help It's been since Easter since I've been in
the basement of my neighbors house. HELP!!!!!

Cat: If you can contact us then contact the police right away! Go do it now!

name = osisnbpinbaiuab
where = Indiana
comments = Help me Dr MeowWoof...My boyfriend is gone and I cant let him go, what should I do?

Dog: shucks another broken heart. Why do we go through this Cat? Why do we bother searching for love only to get so depressed if we lose them?

Cat: Go away Winslow we are working! You wouldn't know about this sort of thing! You don't have the intellect! Now get back in your hole like a nice little rat!

Winslow: Since you put it that way, (hops up on the couch with CatDog) I think I'll sit with youse for a while.

Cat: (sighs annoyed) Well all right but keep quiet! Now lets see where was I? Romance is strong in all of us and letting go of something that was deeply apart of your life feels like losing a finger. Something so used to being there but then suddenly it's gone. It feels terrible but with time you get used to the loss and grow from it. Embrace the…

Winslow: What kind of garbage are you feeding these people? Losing a boyfriend is hard, well no duh whiskers! They are already hurting that's obvious so help them, don't feed them sap!

Cat: (furiously embarrassed) How dare you question, me rat boy! What in the world do you know about it?

Cat: (scoffs) Well ok then, you go right ahead and tell osisnbpinbaiuab what she should do. This should be good. Pfft!

Winslow: Well Osis, I remember when the love of my life left me. She took all my stuff and left me a cookie. I was devastated! I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep I couldn't do much of anything. It took me a while to get over it, and still stings a bit but I look back on it and I wouldn't have it any other way. I think of how grand a time we did have together and that the memory of it was great. She called me all these names and spelled out insults when we played scrabble. Aw it was heaven. She was my delicate goddess. I'll always remember the good times. I think I still miss her a lot even now.

Dog: (sniff) I remember that, we felt so bad for you Winslow we really did even Cat even if he won't admit it.

Winslow blows nose then hands the soiled tissue to Cat, cat goes eww and flings it away.

Dog: You were talking about the memories with Sadie. (Pats Winslow's back)

Winslow: Oh yeah…geez louise (sniff, sniff) I….I….excuse me! WAAAAAHHHH! (Winslow jumps off the couch and heads for his hole and slams the door sniffing and sobbing)

Cat: Winslow's reaction proves the pain. Sad that the pain can't exactly be avoided, that missing someone takes a while. A boyfriend or girlfriend stays in the heart for a time, but that's ok. It's not unexpected, and everyone that loses a loved one goes through the same. Do things to channel your pain a little bit, and treat yourself well so you don't dwell on it too often. Know that you are a good person and will date again. For now, try and remember the good times, and learn from this experience. Experiences in life are marvelous blessings. The more you know the better when the time comes again. Think about all those first date nerves, next time they won't be as bad because you'll have some idea what to expect. We feel for you, and assure you that it will get better soon. The pain and loss will lessen, as your life changes and meets other people and experiences.

comments = Help me Dr MeowWoof I used to be skinny but I am now getting
fat. I try to put on my old clothes and my belly spills out everywhere.
What can I do? I mean I weigh 500 pounds. Really!

Dog: When I start feeling a little pudgy I go for a nice garbage truck chase and play with my ball. That always gives me some energy back. But goodness, I do think this is a bit of an exaggeration what are your thoughts Cat?

Cat: Yes, I'd say anon is making a big deal out of nothing. It's a shame that society has to be so weight concerned. In some ways I feel it's gotten a little out of hand too.

Dog: I agree with that. Sure it's nice to be fit and healthy but I remember seeing this one cat that was so skinny he looked like he was dying. I don't find that attractive at all I think it's better to be fit and healthy but not so skinny that one is malnourished.

Cat: Anon, there's nothing wrong with working out, with eating healthy foods. You will as a person feel better in the long run. But don't do it because you worry about others seeing you negatively, do it for yourself. You know the old saying; we are worst critics of our own self. This is true. Most likely, if you asked the people that love you their thoughts about your weight they will say you look fine to them and not to worry so frequent. We can beat ourselves down so fierce that it's unhealthy. People come in many shapes and sizes and that's all right. Life is far too brief to worry about every little thing like gaining a few pounds. Don't let the media and celebrities scare you into an unconfident shell. Remember the diet pill adds are trying to do one thing; sell their pills whether they work or don't work. So they show overweight individuals to make us all believe that it's wrong to have a few lbs, and that the only right way to live is thin.

Dog: You are beautiful for who you are inside. The outside comes last. So if you have an attractive inside, your outside will shimmer all pretty. Thanks for the letter.

comments = Dear Dr.meow woof. It's me agian. I'm
having boy trouble. I like this boy, he's older than
me by 1 year. But I asked him if he liked me and he
said 'I don't know, I don't even know myself.' And
it makes me wonder, does he hate me? DrMeowwoof
please help me. I think you went through the same
thing with the bear girl, I think someone else likes
him. Zack (thats his name) is really nice but I
don't know what to say to him. I really need some
help! PLEASE HELP ME!
Love you always,
Talia

Dog: Feel proud of yourself for taking the first step in asking Zack THE question. Lots have that trouble no matter what age, so to have the umm oomphness to ask the boy if he liked you is wowie kaboodles! I think of all the teen mags I've looked at while my brother reads his silly Cat Fancy Shmancy mags, and one problem girls AND guys show is taking that step to asking someone out or simply asking he or she the "do you like me" question. It seems Zack is one of those guys that has trouble expressing his feelings.

Cat: Absolutely! It could be any number of reasons too. As we are just beginning to mature uncertainty in oneself is very high especially during puberty and teen years in general. Pretty sure he doesn't hate you, it's quite possible that he does contain feelings for you but is having trouble figuring them out. If Zack said, "I don't know, I don't even know myself." That's just Zack sounding a little confused, or unsure how to answer the question. Do you like me?....That's a question full of much pressure on the spot. Sometimes requiring more thought to answer, or how to answer it. Watch his actions. Sometimes actions speak more than conversation. How close are you to him? Have you been friends for a while now? Or is he just an acquaintance, or friend of another of your friends? When a guy likes a girl for the more than friend thing sometimes you get the right signals. Does he seem to have extra nerves around you? Is he very smiley very friendly? Or more drawn back and shy? Keep in mind that if he does like you then he is just as confused as you and scared of rejection, and getting hurt. As such, he may hold back and do everything in his power to appear that he's cool as a cucumber not at all phased. A wall people put up to avoid getting hurt.

Dog: My advice for now, is take it slow, you don't want to be pushy cause that can scare guys off too. You don't want to be all stalky but continue to be subtle with him. One thing in your favor is that you did take the do you like me step. That means it's at least in his head now. So in Zacks confused, insecure bundly
emotionally mind,... is you. You are in there somewhere and he's all a wonder: Well what if I did date this cutie Talia? She's got such a pretty smile and I'm flattered that she can talk to me. She has guts and she's beautiful and friendly now how could I resist such a catch?

Cat: Don't despair if it turns out the way you don't want. You are young you will meet so many handsome fellows that will line up to ask you to the movies and more. So again just take it slow, be his friend first, pay attention to his actions around you, and if the chemistry between you and Zack is there it will become apparent soon.

Dog: Best of luck Talia and feel free to reply to us again if you'd like to talk more about it.

I hate school and don't want to go! the teachers give me freight train
loads of homework and quizzes and everyone picks on me! WHAT DO I
DO!?!?!?!

Cat: Winslow??? Help oh wise Winslow?? What the heck is this? Why does it say WINSLOW??

Dog: Hmm I don't know Cat. Must be another Winslow fan I think it's cool! Heh heh heh

Cat: It is not cooool. It's tragedy! I can't believe this isn't directed to us it's directed to WINSLOW!

(Winslow pops out again, seems to be feeling a little better)
Winslow: Geez Cat what's the matter can't youse answer these questions you gotta call on ol' wise Winslow for help. Heh heh!

Winslow: (fake innocent look) Why, I don't know what your talking about Cat? How can you accuse me invadin' youse territory. I'm insulted at the inquiry.

Dog: Cat's sorry. I know you wouldn't do anything like that. I trust you completely.

Cat: Now wait a minute here! Something isn't right. I know you're up to something! Wait here, and don't you dare say anything till I get back!
(Cat gets up, and leaves the room, while Winslow smiles back innocently nodding)

Winslow: You know Dog seein' hows MikeT wrote his question to me, I think I should answer don't you?

Dog: (looks to see if coast is clear) Well, make it quick before Cat gets back. I think you offer great wisdom Winslow.

Winslow: Thanks Dog! Well MikeT don't worry about school, it may seem tough right now but you'll look back on it and realize the necessary reasons of going. The homework thing, boooy if you think what they are giving you in grade school, or high school is a lot of work, try college or trade schools. If your planning on furthering your education after high school, then you'll need that knowledge and homework discipline to become an expert in your career field.
(Reads it again, and gets a little nervous with a tiny sweat drop of guilt) (Gulp) Um,

(Winslow looks at the pick on part of the question again, and feels guilty for the heck he puts CatDog through, even though it's all just innocent fun. Dog urges him to keep talking so Winslow does nervously.)
Winslow: Geez louise Dog, not sure I'm the right person to talk. Uh, maybe I should wait till Cat gets back. (nerves and guilty feelings increase)

Dog: Winslow, don't stop you're doing fine. I'll help. You are so right about school experiences. Because when you get older, all the trivial stuff in high school that seemed so important at the time is not important in the long run. Go on Winslow.

Winslow: Yeah umm, I wouldn't worry about your classmates picking on you. Each of us gets teased one way or anothahr. Cat teases me by calling me a rat, or making shoirt jokes. I don't let it bug me I throw it right back and tell him his whiskers are tangled and call him fish breath! On occasion its best to just relax and tease back. It's all in good fun. Friends tease each other all the time. I think I now understand why you wrote to me. Because you are trying to add perspective from witty sort as myself that usually does the mocking. (Looks around to see if the Greaser gang or anyone else is spying.) The truth is I care about my favorite 2-headed freaks. I raised CatDog when they were little pup and kitten. I wouldn't pick on them so much if I didn't love them like me own family.

Agreed, a darker side exists in making fun of someone. Peers target the classmates that act a little different or look a little different. I don't have the kind of intimate knowledge that CatDog has to this feeling, but from my perspective it's entertainin'! Heh heh! Think about it, think about the times you do get to tease someone it's a brief entertainment, and makes the teaser feel good. When the reality, is they are just as confused as you, and have their own troubled anxieties. When groups of people make fun of another person they do as a way to unite and feel apart of something. People have an incredible desire to belong and be accepted. As young kids, those of us like myself that have the snappy comebacks, but at the same time experience our own form of insecure ness will join with the kids picking on someone else. Of course not everyone does it, some don't join in or find it amusing. It's a mystery as to why something that makes another person feel so down make the inflictors feel first-rate. Oh the times I've bugged CatDog seem some of my most fun times ever. But now I feel like a heel because I made them feel upset especially in Cat's case.

By this time Dog, is a little teary, and Cat walks back in with the evidence but is moved by what Winslow is saying. Cat sits back down, not mad at Winslow anymore.

Cat: Winslow, I had no idea, I'm moved. I have to say you are right. It does feel good, almost powerful to tease another, no matter how wrong.

Dog: You should know Cat. You tease me all the time for being dumb. But I'm not dumb and sometimes it can hurt.

Cat: I'm sorry Dog. I didn't mean any harm. HEY! You tease me too, about acting boring. Remember that dreadful "Little Cat" toy of yours?

Winslow: There you see MikeT? We all tease one another without knowing it sometimes. See, if you can find something about the person to tease them back. Show them that you stand up for yourself and give it back.

Cat: Nerves, shy personality, and just plain fear. Mike, I've been there, I know what it's like to feel alone, frozen not able to speak back. Inside you want to scream but the outside won't let you. I've felt this way faced with the cruel laughter of the Greasers. It's unbelievably painful to feel left out. Don't let it get to you too bad. Keep talking to people that care about you and that you trust. They will help you through the terrible and lonely feeling from people making fun of you. Know that life isn't perfect. No matter what, we have to face people we don't want to see sometimes. Like that annoying relative at holiday dinners that pinches your swollen red cheeks, the overbearing boss at work, and that annoying neighbor that won't stop picking and eating your turnips and carrots. Various annoyances we have to handle one way or another all through our existence.

Dog: Don't let the aggravations of earth get you down. Plenty of experiences are worth going through the goopy days. Watching a favorite cartoon like us or reading, laughing at jokes, playing games, net chatting, taking walks outside, and spending times with loved ones and friends. These moments make us happy and keep us going. Remember that. So when life gets tough just keep in mind that toughness is only momentary, and soon you'll be doing something you enjoy. Just think Mike it's holiday time tis the season to be jolly and decorate with pretty holly! Heh heh heh

Winslow: Sheez louise, that was lame-o Dog. Heh heh! But good points nonetheless. I love youse guys.

Cat: Winslow I never thought I'd be saying this but thank you for your perspective. I think it helped MikeT a lot. I know it helped me understand the other side of stick.

name = Mysty
where = Sanford, MI
comments = Help me Dr MeowWoof...
I am writing a CatDog book and am stuck. What should I include in my
book?

Dog: Hi ho diggety! Glad to hear from you again. Hope we were of some help the last time you wrote us. You seem to be in much better spirits and that makes me feel very warmy! (hugs himself feeling happy that Mysty wrote again)

Cat: Yes it's grand to hear from you again Mysty. Oh how fantastic a story about us! I hope we can read it when your done we'd love to see it. So hmm what to include in the book…(thinks for moments then grabs a yarn ball and purrs rubbing his face with the yarn ball) MY BIG YARN BALL! You must include my yarn ball I love it so.

Dog: Wowie kaboodles! I would love to read about a visit to my bone cellar. It makes me so happy there and when I'm hungry I love to visit my bone cellar and gnaw on a nice bone aged to perfection!

Cat: How about a nice adventure. A treasure hunt or safari, something where we could learn something about life and culture, something intelligently stimulating! Oo maybe I could sing in an opera, with a lovely leading lady. Mm yes give me a pretty girl please pretty please! (Has pleadingly adorable eyes begging for a little romance)

Dog: (blows raspberry) Bleck! That's icky feliny stuff. I think I have better ideas. I like the idea of adventure but something really supery adventurous! Like oooooh being a lion tamer or jumping out of a plane! Hi ho diggety!!!! That would rock!

Winslow: How about she write about all those times you get beat up by the Greasers! Heh heh! The pain and fear in your eyes especially Cat's pain that would rule I'd read that in a heartbeat! Heh heh!

Cat: Stay out of this! We don't want to be in pain! My poor body hates pain!

Winslow: Well it's hardly avoidable with how youse guys are. Youse twos are pain magnets! Heh heh! In all serious though it's something that makes youse interesting. The challenge youse two go through day to day. The characters you face, the eternal struggle of wanting to read a book over playing with a toy. It inspires many creative and talented people like Msyty to write about you. To write about all of us, and how we interact with another, while also relating us somehow to the writer's own life and struggles day to day. People feel empathy for youse two. They all see through your two sets of eyes the challenges you face. It's very inspir-in'!

Cat: (eyes widen, speechless) Wow, Winslow I didn't know you felt that way. That's actually nice of you to say.

Winslow: Whoa! Easy there fido! Not so tight you furry nut! See I'm not quick witted for nothin' Cat! I know a thing or 2; I just like messin' with ya! But repeat this anyone and you'll live to regret it feline! And that goes double for you mutt!

Cat: Your secret is safe with us. Stay true to the characters in your tale Mysty, while also relating yourself and your beliefs in the story. We have great confidence that you'll write a terrific story! Sit down and think about what your feeling, what interests you, what you'd like to see us all do that we haven't done yet, or what you may want to see us do again. And then write about it. Luckily we are great characters to write about and can fit in many situations. Just think of our many different episodes. From visiting a museum, finding our parents, playing baseball, looking for ocean treasure, running away from home, falling in love, and facing the possibility of the world ending. We've witnessed countless places, ideas, and characters, and there's room for more.

Dog: Here's what we want you do; pick up your pencil, pen, and paper, or get your keyboard ready, make sure all your homework and responsibilities are done first, with no distractions at the moment. Turn on your favorite music, or if you prefer, silence. Make sure you're in comfy atmosphere. The temperature just right, a comfy chair, and maybe a favorite beverage handy, and then begin writing. Write what's on your mind first and then you can always go back and rework and perfect your story as you write along. Have the confidence that you can make your ideas come alive. You know what you want to write about; it's just finding the right relaxation and concentration to bring it out. Thanks for writing to us again, we love hearing from you and just take your time and write something hi ho diggety!

Cat: Hmm guess that's it for this issue. Wishing you all a very happy and safe holiday.

(Suddenly the door opens and Rancid, Eddie, the Greasers, and Rancine walk in to join in song.)
"Hanging a stocking,
Trimming the tree,
Cracking a chestnut!
Mistletoe-ing with ME!
Having yourself a nice snowball fight!
That's what we do on our Christmas night!
The best part of Christmas is being together,
Sharing the good times and singing a soooooonnnnnngg….
THERE'S NOTHING THAT'S BETTER THAN CHRISTMAS WITH CATDOG
I WISH WE COULD DO IT, ALL THE YEAR LONG!!

In the tradition of Kitty Puppy Corner, and ATCDC, comes a very special interaction with our feline canine little CatDog....

Check back for updates and remedies according to CatDog. CatDog knows what it's like to feel down, to have a problem at school or work or with loved ones, so go ahead sit back on the couch relax and tell Dr. MeowWoof all about it.